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Life's Dilemma: Card Declined

  • Writer: mattyowie101
    mattyowie101
  • May 10, 2014
  • 2 min read

It's the day before Mother's Day: department stores Melbourne-wide are filled with the busy promise of oblivious husbands, sons and daughters. I wandered through scores of them with an old friend of mine, directed towards one of the higher end cosmetic concessions for a gift for my mother. I'm usually quite a speedy shopper, so it doesn't take too long for me to get to this particular counter and select the particular products (no hints mum, you have to wait until tomorrow to find out).

They gift wrap it, suggest a few samples and some perfume testers: overall the shopping experience is going swimmingly. Then it comes time to pay. A few gift cards go through in relatively quick succession, and i hand over my Debit Card to pay the outstanding. There's the gentle tinkling of a Honeymunch track playing through the store and a cute guy over by the Tom Ford counter with tortoiseshell glasses and a perfect Douglas-Booth-esque hairdo, perfect sale, can go and get a coffee now, im thinking of having a double e...

BEEP BEEP

If only they were beeps of a successful payment, instead that slow deepening sense of dread as the sales assistant tells me that my card's declined....panic, complete and utter panic. What to do, how to pay. I ask him to try again and wait with bated breath. Again! I feel like people are looking by this point, gesturing and giggling discreetly at the guy by that counter fumbling in his wallet for cash. And my wallet only has cards, not a single coin left. Further panic, and now i feel like Tom Ford guy is starting to notice as the sales assistant taps his shoe on the marble floor in boredom. Finally, in a discreetly manic state, i turn to my friend standing next to one of the concealer counters, and ask to borrow a 20.

At this point i'm almost out of words to express my embarassment so all i'll say is: to this particular friend, if you read this, i'm buying you a f*%king brilliant birthday present one day for putting up with all my crap.

​Still out of energy to conrsuct sentances to describe how i feel i'll just hashtag improv: #broke #bankrupt #pathetic #ishouldstreetwalk #declined #beepbeep #shopaholicsanonymous #judgement #scowl

To be Continuted...

 
 
 

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